"If I could tell you how to help me, this is what I would say:
1. Give me space.
Don’t come in my room, corner me, or make demands. I don’t have any answers. When you push me or yell at me, I feel worse. I need to be alone. I need space.
2. Don’t yell at me.
The noise in my head is so loud sometimes that I can barely hear my own thoughts. I can’t stand it. When you yell, I feel worse about myself. I feel unloved. I feel like I am your biggest disappointment.
3. Take my electronics away.
I can’t put my phone down; I try, but I just can’t. I know it’s devouring all my time, but I can’t help myself; I can’t stop checking it. I need your help. I need you to set limits on technology. Please. I will fight you, but it’s what I need. Don't try to reason with me: Just do it.
4. Bring me someplace quiet.
I say I don’t want anything to do with you. But if you could bring me somewhere quiet, somewhere we could walk together and not argue, somewhere I can feel the sun and listen to the wind in the trees, somewhere I can breathe and forget about everything that’s bothering me, I think I would like that. Even if we don’t speak, I will feel comforted.
5. Stop spoiling me.
Stop giving me everything I want. The more you give me, the more I resent you. I want to earn things. It helps me feel grown up. I want to learn how to save money, spend money, share money. And I’m never going to learn that if you keep giving it to me. I hate being dependent on you; please help me become independent.
6. Find me someone to talk to.
I need someone to look up to who isn’t you. I need an adult to admire, someone I want to be like, a person who believes in me, who pushes me, and who understands me. A mentor, a counselor, a therapist...anyone who can give me hope when I have too little for myself.
7. Tell me that you love me.
I pretend not to care. But I really need to hear you say the words, 'I love you.' Because right now, I don’t love me. Even though I’m making your life hell, I still need to feel loved. Especially by you.
"I guess that’s it. I know that being a parent is really hard. Sometimes you probably wonder why you did it. But I’ll get better. I promise. I’ll get older and we’ll enjoy each other again. Until then, understand that I appreciate you.
"I may not say it often, but still I love you."
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